Thursday, March 25, 2010

What Guys Shouldn't Be Wearing This Spring...


Or rather... what girls would rather you NOT wear.

Before I get started, this isn't just MY opinion. I've spoken to many girls over the last few months, up to today, to determine this very list of items I'm going to list for you below. Please feel free to agree or disagree in the "comments" section below.

The blowout is one thing, but I understand that there are many girls out there who adore this look on guys. (Don't even get me started on the blow dryer.) What we're concentrating on Pauly D is his TANK TOP. This is not your run-of-the-mill undershirt, rather, this shirt has been crafted to have smaller straps than that all-too-famous "beater." Girls love nice biceps, shoulders, and chests, but you know how guys like if girls "leave some for the imagination?" Guys should do the same thing.



Okay, so we can concentrate on two things in this picture. But, for the sake of this blog, let's discuss his JORTS. 1. They're soaking wet, so they look even hideous on Taylor Lautner. 2. They're cut slightly above the knee. Meaning, when he sits down, he will inevitably be showing MAN THIGH. (Guy-thigh, some others call it.) Men, there is such a thing as showing too much leg.


Pointy, white, Euro, dressy shoes. I never had thought about this until a friend of mine brought it up. And, seeing it on this model- I get it. We can also talk about his white, skinny jeans. I mean- let's just go for the whole white outfit. Unless you're going on a runway or to PDiddy's White Party in the Hamptons, just leave the white skinny jeans behind or lend them to your girlfriend. She'll look better in them than you.


Teva sandals. Unless your a middle-aged DAD walking around in Disney World all day with a fanny pack hoisting kids on your shoulders, Teva sandals pose no purpose. Someone else brought up "Tevas with socks." Please, don't do that either. Leave that for the cute, old men around the nursing home.


Just because you're married to Demi Moore doesn't mean you can wear ManPris, Ashton. Yes, Man Pris. The guy-version of Capris. I understand this is a huge trend (or has been in the recent past, anyways) in Europe. Maybe it's hotter there and guy ankles sweat? I'm not sure the reason why these manpris exist, we just don't think guys should be wearing them.



I can only hope this guy dressed up as a joke, but we have a couple pieces here that girls have mentioned to me that guys should NOT wear.
1. The shorts! SO much man thigh going on I can't control myself. I can still only imagine this guy is playing around wearing them, or he's planning on biking around the city. Either way- just don't try it.
2. The clogs. I think these are also interchangable for crocs. For example, see below. Jack Nicholson and Ex President Bush. I get it, they're a little bit older, so they could fall under the "dads on vacation/Disney World" category, but we'd rather not see that.



That's all that we've thought of for right now. Plus, it's springtime and I'm sure the girls and I will chat about what we don't want to see on guys for SUMMER (Speedos for one...) If you have any more ideas, tell me below. I'll add them on a summer version of this post.

5 comments:

  1. I love it! You crack me up, those are all terrible things guys should never wear. I hate the word JORTS! It's almost as bad as jeggings. AGH! Oh, and I think man thigh is the next "moobs" hehe.

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  2. Oh I agree with all of them except maybe the Teva Sandals! *blush*

    I used to wear the Nike ones with socks. Ha! I find it cute...*insert another blush in here*

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  3. The jorts are a contextual thing, I think. A lot of hipsters wear them, and I see my fellow cyclists clad in jorts all the time. So if that's the crowd you run (or bike) with, then I think it's fine.

    But the pointy shoes, clogs, tevas, manpris, and beaters have got to go. I'm proud to say I own none. Though I do have Birks and occasionally wear them with socks...

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  4. I agree that jorts are from the 8th circle of hell. This list was hilarious!

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