Thursday, September 23, 2010

25 and Eternally Hopeful

This post is not meant to sound "sad" or "melancholy" by any means. It's a reflection of the slight downside of being in your mid-20s when you have the entire world in front of you. The options are endless and the overwhelming nature of them sometimes feels heavy. Otherwise, it's freaking awesome.

The girls and guys I know in this situation (yes, I'm calling it a "situation") are either new to the single world or in relationships where "everyone" around them is getting hitched.

For the singles: We've had long-ish-term boyfriends who they either thought they were going to marry or felt that they were on that path, but have recently found themselves without automatic dates to movies and paying for their own dinners.

For us, we're told by so many women who've gone through this stage to "live it up! You're only single in your mid-20s once!"

But, what are we supposed to "live up?"
Going out to bars on a Thurs-Sat (and Sunday Fundays) to receive free drinks?
Nights out with girlfriends without thinking about guys?
Movie nights with wine, popcorn and no cares in the world?

Those things:
1. Never happen
2. Can happen even with boyfriends

It's true, some girls prefer to be single and don't care about being in a relationship. But, I can tell you for my friends and I- that isn't the case. We like having someone hold our hands crossing a busy street, buy us drinks at a bar without the intention of getting us drunk, even the simple assurance of a "how's your day" text.

I'm sure everyone in this situation has seen the amount of Facebook relationships that have recently changed to "engaged" or "married to." As happy as I am for everyone who is going through preparations for weddings and the ceremony itself, there's just a small piece of me that's a wee-bit jealous that they get to do it now.

However, that jealousy is NOT just left for the 25 and single gals.

For the relationshippers: I have some friends who are ready for that stage, but their boyfriends aren't. After having conversations with them, I understand that's just as tough to deal with.

Having a boyfriend (or in some cases girlfriend) who isn't on the same timeline as you puts a strain on things. It's nothing against the guys who are or aren't ready for their personal reasons. It's nothing against the girls who are or aren't ready for their personal reasons. Having that eternal hope makes the relationship progress in a healthier way, but it could give the couple some challenges to face.

After telling my mom (for the 3rd time this week) that someone else is newly engaged, she got all hopeful-mom-of-single-girl-like and said,
"They're still young. You never know what could happen with their relationship, like anyone's relationship, really."
It suddenly hit me that, we aren't that young. We are young on a scale of 1-100yrs, yes. But when it comes to getting married, these kids are doing it "the right way."
1. HS
2. college
3. real-life job for a couple yrs
4. natural next step is marriage.

We're in our mid-twenties and this rotation of life changes isn't going to stop any time soon.

A couple years ago when I started seeing these updates on Facebook, my friends and I would send each other emails stating the news. It was a fun game to see who was getting married next or who's having babies. We were genuinely happy, but also confused. "Why would anyone get married at 22?" Back then, it seemed like my mom's stance of "they're still young" stood hard.

Now, at 25, it's not confusing anymore. It's life and it's very overwhelming. It's also everything I've ever wanted. I'm healthy, 25 living in Manhattan, working in Manhattan, making friends and having no real issues in my life. I have a great job and volunteer for an amazing organization, and am so close to getting my words published. On the upside, things are great. I'm going to start concentrating on that from now on. :)

Friday, September 3, 2010

Francis and The Lights

So, heroes and heroines of Summer 2010, I'm going to introduce you to the greatest band since... well, I'm not sure what, but a great band nonetheless.

Francis and the Lights

I know. He looks all Edward Scissorhands-meets-Session 9, but the music that Francis Farewell Starlite and his band of fellow Wesleyan-ites make is better than Postal Service.

As I said when I blogged about La Roux, (back before Bulletproof was in the clubs playing second to "I Can't Be Tamed") I'm not a music critic. I merely give my opinion based on the limited knowledge of musical bands and education I have.

"Brittney, how did you find out about these awesome (yet slightly creepy) guys?"
you ask?

I went to the MGMT concert in August and Franky opened for the teen-loving electro-band. We may have been two of the oldest attendees there (who weren't chaperoning) but finding Francis and the Lights made my night.

Not only do the keyboard skills far outweigh mine in 1988, but Franky's dance skills are amazing! He's got these crazy legs that remind of rubber bands.


Take a listen here:
For Days
Knees to the Floor (this one's stuck in my head as I type)

And watch here:
Darling, It's Alright
Image: istock photo, Kit: Queen of Quirk, Design by Bloggy Blog Designz Copyright © 2010