Full disclosure 2: I've never given a thought to the "marriage" between the two people who I'm cheers-ing to at the reception. (Outside of writing "I'm so happy to share in the happiness of the first day of the rest of your lives together!")
I've thought about my own wedding and marriage, but always put more emphasis on the wedding day.
Wedding Thoughts:
"I wonder how he will propose... what ring?"
"What am I going to wear, ball gown or a-line?"
"What flavor is my cake going to be? Is it appropriate to have my mom bake a rainbow cake? I'd really like that..."
"Band or DJ?"
"What color scheme?!?!"
"If he proposes in June, do I have to have a summer wedding the following year? I'm going to sweat..."
= 6+ thoughts
Marriage Thoughts:
"I wonder how many kids we'll have..."
"I wonder where we will live..."
"A house is HOW MUCH?"
=3 thoughts.
Looking at this list, it appears that I have spent more time thinking about the exciting and fun stuff (aka: the WEDDING DAY) versus the not-so-exciting, but real-life stuff (aka: THE REST OF MY LIFE.) (This exercise actually propelled me into a new thought pattern, as you'll read below.)
I think this must have been Kim Kardashian's priority order, as well. But, the difference between me and Miss Kardashian is that I'm not getting married. I CAN daydream about my wedding day because it's not going to happen for a while. I don't think she was thinking about the long-term commitment that defines a marriage.
She met a guy, 6 months later was engaged, and a few months after that had the wedding. I think that as well all grow older, the speed of going from dating to marriage picks up, but the first family vacation, proposal, entire engagement, and wedding ceremony usually aren't on TV.
I'm not going to get into if this was all for publicity or what-have-you, but I do want to get into how all the hoopla of their wedding turned into a marriage that lasted for 72 days, and how that makes me feel about weddings versus marriage.
This is from an article I read this morning:
The costs of some items and Kim and Kris' gifts:
$25K for Vera Wang Wedding gowns (of which she had 3)
$10M "reported" cost of THE WEDDING (I'm still wondering how much of it was paid for by E!...)
$17.9M in gifts and People Mag money and other benefits they received because they are celebs.
= 72 days married
Now, the money spent should be put into perspective. They make a billion dollars a year and $10M may not be THAT much for them.
However, the days spent married should NOT be looked at with the same viewpoint. IT'S MARRIAGE. It's supposed to be "forever." (I understand that under many circumstances, marriages do not and should not last forever, and sometimes each person in the marriage is better off after a divorce, but this is not what I'm talking about.)
72 days. That's just over 2 months. That's hardly "forever." That's hardly even TRYING.
On a related note, I read this article this morning that speaks about how there is so much thought and priority put into a wedding day (done by the bride because it's "HER day") and not enough placed on the marriage, that some couples are bound to be in the divorce lawyer's office, eventually.
I think that is some slight cockamamie (divorces happen for other reasons beside narcissism,) but in all reality- a wedding ceremony and reception are just happy celebrations between the bride and groom and their loved ones to kickstart the couple's forever.
This has prompted me to think about what I would want to do when my time comes to get all gussied up in a white dress and say "I Do." (Seeing as my priority order had dresses and cakes and music over kids and a house...)
Do I want the big wedding gown anymore? What's it really matter if I have a band or a DJ? What's all that spent money going to get me in the long run? What really is the best way to celebrate the first day of the rest of my life with my husband in a way that puts the spotlight on my marriage rather than the wedding day?
I'd really like to say my vows in a church with our families and closest friends, have my mom bake a rainbow cake for the reception, and have my dad grill up some steak tips and call it a day.
OK, rereading that, it sounds like a white trash wedding if there ever was one, but, you catch the drift! (I'd elope, but I really want my home town church and our families there.)
I'm sure that when the time comes, my mind will slightly change and I'll be very specific about certain parts of my wedding day (like... the dress.)
But I have to say THANKS to Kim Kardashian for showing me that although she doesn't respect what marriage stands for, by disrespecting it to the lengths that she did, she reminded me what it stands for, and I have to commend her for that.
xo
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