"Women, in general, have more choices than before."

Work it, Single Ladies- WORK IT!

According to some single women in their late 30s-early 40s, the single life is something we all should want.

Or is it?

In watching this: Women Who Love Being Single- on the Today Show,  I can't help but analyze body language when these women speak about how much they enjoy being single at their ages.

The first woman interviewed, Maria, is "single by choice." She says that her "joy is not predicated on being in a relationship... I have a good identity and I have a lot of joy in my life." Which is really great. I mean, girl power! I'd high-five her if she was in front of me.

But, when she first says that she is happy, and has a lot of love in her life from her family and friends, she looks down- rather than sternly and confidently into the camera.

I'm sure she's not lying when she says that her life is full and she doesn't need someone to be there to create the joy for her. I agree with that: in being single for the better part of a year and a half (give or take some months) I've learned that being filled with joy is something that one creates within one's self. If someone relies on another person for their joy and happiness, chances are that when/if that other person goes away, so will the joy and happiness. I just think that her body language said something else when she was speaking about where she receives love from.

Before the news story ends, Maria does say that she'd love to meet a man who's gutsy and loving, and who can keep up with her. So, I'm glad her story isn't about giving up in finding love, it's about appreciating finding your own happiness and living it every day, rather than getting all Patti- The-Matchmaker about love.

The news story then jumps into a live interview of a single journalist, Kate, and a psychiatrist (ironic much?) with Ann Curry.

Kate says that "men have been declining" and women have been "ascending." She was referring to the work place and income-earning levels, but those chosen words show a little bit more than just a feminist point of view.  It seemed like it was coming from a personal, an emotional place.

She continues to say that marriage is an option for women now, rather than a necessity, as it once was.

Ann then brings up the fact that this is comparable to Kate's own life... cuing the awkward body language. Kate stutters and can't get her "I'm single, I'm 39... I always thought I'd get married because that's what people do..." out fast enough. She starts speaking with her hands and smiling awkwardly. Though, similar to Maria, she says that she has enough love from her family and friends networks.

Come the end of the news story, the three conclude with the fact that being single is really about providing your own security, rather than relying on someone else. A happy ending.

Getting to the down and dirty... and incorporating psychology into my own thoughts...

Maybe I look for uncomfortable body languages from single mid-30s women because I want to know if they're truly happy.
Maybe there is a solo opportunity for my future, one I haven't thought of for myself, that I'll be able to read through these women.
Maybe getting married and having babies by the time I'm in my early-30s isn't in my cards...

But, what if I DO want to live in the traditional role of my gender? Not "role" as in wearing an apron when my husband gets out of work and I have dinner ready on the table, but, "role" as in finding true love that will bring me to marriage before my biological clock runs out.

I think that there are parts of these women that still have that eternal hope for true love that they haven't found, yet. But, they're living their lives in the most prolific and exciting way they know how, since God hasn't given them the opportunity to marry, yet.

Maybe that's just me hoping for them. Hoping that while they fulfill their personal desires, they leave enough room for someone else to jump in and join them on the rest of their life's' explorations and adventures.

Or, maybe that's me hoping for myself. Everyday in my life is an adventure in some way:
- walking through the hustle and bustle of the Big Apple
- paying my rent from my own checking account
- presenting to clients
- traveling to visit friends everywhere.
 ----- I'm a single woman, and I'm doing this all on my own, with a smile on my face to BOOT!

I'm happy and it's because of my own self. I love my life and I wouldn't do anything to change it. Like Maria and Kate, I'm living my life according to what brings me joy and happiness, and until Mr. Right pops into my life, I'll continue living it that way... and getting happier every day.